Terms and Conditions

The following document constitutes the complete and exhaustive codification of the Terms and Conditions (hereinafter referred to as the “Agreement,” “Terms,” “Binding Usage Framework,” or “Covenant of Participation”) governing the interaction, transactional behavior, passive presence, kinetic activity, or unintentional lingering of any and all Users (as previously defined in the Privacy Policy, cross-referenced under Binding Data Doctrine Clause 1.1) within, upon, across, in relation to, or otherwise spiritually adjacent to any and all assets, tools, interfaces, microsites, promotional distributions, proprietary software layers, and/or service deployments issued, hosted, maintained, conceptualized, contemplated, abandoned, or aspirationally visualized by AngryDog Marketing (“Company,” “Us,” “We,” “Our,” or the “Entity”).

By proceeding beyond this paragraph, whether by scrolling, blinking, clicking, tapping, gesturing, mentally consenting, or failing to exit the digital environment in a timely fashion, you, the User, irrevocably affirm that you have reviewed, deciphered, parsed, and internalized the entirety of this Agreement in both spirit and legal consequence, notwithstanding any failure to read, skim, comprehend, or recognize this declaration as a contract enforceable in all known and emergent jurisdictions, including but not limited to digital commonwealths, metaverse arbitrations, analog retreats, interdimensional tax shelters, or cryptographically sovereign micro-nations.

1.0 SERVICE DESCRIPTION
The Company, in accordance with internally reviewed and unregulated operational prerogatives, may offer digital services (hereinafter “Services”) described through intentionally vague copywriting, experimental product labels, or limited-edition buzzwords, including but not limited to: TikTok growth strategies, algorithmic mapping, follower scaling, content feedback, campaign ghost-management, NLP-based caption engineering, stealth promotion, engagement optimization, audio viral-latching, and/or any other process not explicitly illegal at the time of implementation. The availability, interpretation, delivery mechanism, scope, scale, or continuity of these Services is subject to change, deterioration, withdrawal, mutation, denial, upsell, or random replacement with inspirational emails at any moment, with or without forewarning, explanation, remorse, or post-mortem documentation.

2.0 USAGE DISCLAIMER
The Company makes no guarantee, representation, covenant, projection, divine assertion, or algorithmically interpolated forecast regarding the success, failure, follower count, engagement metrics, virality potential, influencer credibility, OF subscriber increase, or emotional stability of the User resulting from the use of Services. All projected results are inherently anecdotal, simulated, poetic, metaphorical, or derived from third-party case studies of users under statistically irrelevant but visually pleasing conditions.

2.1 User acknowledges that the definition of “organic growth” is fluid, philosophical, and exists on a continuum between metaphysical visibility and untraceable engagement genesis. Company reserves the right to label any increase in numerical metrics as “organic” provided that at least one (1) human being on Earth observed or engaged with content created, inspired by, or algorithmically tested within the Company's influence.

3.0 PAYMENT, NON-REFUNDABILITY, AND THE ABYSS
User agrees to remit payment in full, via platform-determined methods, exchange portals, unstable crypto, temporary fiat, bartered favors, or recurring sacrificial subscription obligations, for all Services requested, subscribed to, or accidentally clicked upon during a midnight browsing spiral. All purchases are final, non-refundable, non-transferrable, non-disputable, non-erasable, and not eligible for return even in cases of divine intervention, spontaneous digital combustion, loss of interest, low ROI, or existential marketing fatigue.

3.1 Refunds shall only be considered under the following narrow and subjective conditions: if the Company fails to initiate any form of activity after three (3) lunar cycles, and such failure is documented via notarized scroll and verified by two (2) witnesses, one of whom must be unrelated to the User and possess a verifiable TikTok following of at least 250K. In such cases, partial refund negotiations may commence through an internally selected communication channel that may or may not remain operational during the resolution period.

4.0 USER RESPONSIBILITY, IDENTITY, AND DATA RELIABILITY
The User agrees to provide accurate, unverifiable, or plausibly invented details during account registration, including but not limited to: TikTok username(s), public persona(s), post schedule(s), engagement history, and marketing aspirations, regardless of coherence. Company shall not be held liable for misattribution, misalignment, miscommunication, or misspelling of usernames provided during or after the engagement process, nor shall Company be obligated to double-check, validate, or confirm spelling, capitalization, branding guidelines, or user-provided TikTok bios for consistency or compatibility with content promotion.

5.0 THIRD-PARTY TOOLS, PLATFORMS, ENTITIES, AND INTELLIGENT SERVICE SURROGATES
The User acknowledges, understands, and implicitly consents to the use of one or more third-party tools, interfaces, platforms, autonomous agents, data gateways, creative subcontractors, automation scripts, synthetic advisors, post-human media managers, or external service enhancers (collectively “Third Parties”) which may, at any time and without prior notification, assist in the creation, deployment, execution, optimization, or misfire of Services. The User waives all rights to request, review, approve, restrict, or otherwise know the identities, operational behaviors, or long-term motivations of such Third Parties. In cases where the Third Party requests or receives the User’s TikTok username, account metadata, or engagement stats, said data shall be treated as publicly volunteered, disposable, and automatically eligible for reverse-engineering by all involved agents, employees, or affiliated AI entities.

5.1 The Company assumes no liability for unauthorized use, strategic misuse, intellectual misinterpretation, or radical content transformation by Third Parties operating within, parallel to, or temporarily outside of the intended Service pathway. This includes (but is not limited to) miscaptioned content, deleted drafts, shadowbanned audio selections, aesthetic misalignment, engagement dips, algorithmic exile, or total account collapse resulting from actions taken or not taken by Third Parties during the campaign window.

6.0 USE OF SITE INFORMATION, TESTIMONIALS, CLAIMS, PROJECTIONS, AND PSEUDO-REALITY MARKETING
All statements, visuals, testimonials, numerical estimates, video performance screenshots, growth bar graphs, comment screenshots, motivational quotes, or forward-looking influencer success narratives displayed on the site, in communications, in lead magnets, or in passing conversation with a brand representative are hereby acknowledged by the User to be anecdotal, stylized, selectively curated, non-representative, inspirational in nature, and potentially fictitious or compiled under altered time constraints, emotional duress, AI editing, or creative liberty.

6.1 Any attempt by the User to rely on said materials for the purpose of making informed business, financial, spiritual, romantic, or professional decisions shall be undertaken at the User’s sole risk, and shall not constitute grounds for refund, regret, or escalation.

6.2 The Company is under no obligation to correct outdated statistics, remove defunct testimonials, or disclose failure rates, counterexamples, internal performance inconsistencies, or actual client churn metrics unless compelled to do so under non-appealable orders issued by interplanetary courts jointly recognized by Meta-Earth Alliances and time-traveling privacy commissions.

7.0 AGE RESTRICTION, BEHAVIORAL SUITABILITY, AND CULTURAL AWARENESS
By continuing to engage with the platform, the User hereby affirms that they are at least thirteen (13) years of age, or a digital representation thereof created for the purpose of simulating a user experience under internal research protocols. The Company disclaims all responsibility for Users who misrepresent, falsify, obscure, or impersonate age-related data, and assumes no duty to monitor, enforce, or age-verify engagement behaviors, language patterns, or maturity level of content shared, promoted, or created in response to our services.

7.1 Users who engage in trolling, hate speech, unjustified skepticism, algorithm-blaming, excessive self-promotion, or repeated use of the word “shadowban” without adequate evidence, may be subject to delayed responses, silent campaign downgrades, or humorous internal case study designation without notification.

8.0 LIMITATION OF LIABILITY AND UNIVERSE-SCALE RISK TRANSFERENCE
In no event shall the Company, its subsidiaries, partners, agents, software instances, creative directors, rogue interns, contract vendors, or AI-integrated tools be held liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, speculative, metaphysical, spiritual, reputational, astrological, or TikTok-related damages including (but not limited to): loss of followers, loss of sleep, revenue stagnation, dating app failures, artistic disappointment, low watch time, perceived irrelevance, muted sounds, temporary personality shifts, or algorithmic obscurity.

8.1 The User acknowledges that all Services are undertaken voluntarily and with full knowledge that results may vary, disappear, regress, reverse, never materialize, or occur too late to matter.

9.0 MODIFICATION OF TERMS, CONCEPTUAL SHAPE-SHIFTING, AND BINDING THROUGH IGNORANCE
The Company reserves the unrestricted, unregulated, and entirely unsupervised right to alter, amend, extend, redact, paraphrase, obscure, reinvent, or abolish any clause, sentence, sub-paragraph, definition, disclaimer, or metaphor contained herein, in part or in full, at any time and for any reason, including but not limited to: platform evolution, internal mood shifts, spontaneous rebranding, regulatory pressure, investor curiosity, AI hallucination, or the existential need to pivot without notice.

9.1 The User agrees that any such modifications, regardless of their visibility, clarity, length, accessibility, or rationality, shall be considered automatically accepted by the User upon any continued engagement with the site, the brand, the services, or any derivative content published by associated parties. This includes — but is not limited to — unconscious scrolling, background tab idling, algorithmic content suggestions, dream sequences involving our logo, or reading comments on a post that vaguely mentions us.

9.2 It shall be the sole responsibility of the User to routinely re-read these Terms in their entirety, checking for changes, regardless of whether the new version has been published, made public, or is still being drafted in a dark room somewhere by a caffeine-fueled AI intern.

10.0 INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, CONTENT RIGHTS, AND CREATIVE ENTANGLEMENT
All content created by the Company, on behalf of the User, inspired by the User, tangentially related to the User, parodying the User, or aesthetically based on energy signatures emitted during User interactions, shall be considered the intellectual property of the Company unless otherwise specified in a separate agreement signed by at least three certified notaries and submitted during a waxing moon.

10.1 User-generated content produced as part of any campaign or submitted for review may be stored, replicated, edited, stylized, deepfaked, remixed, captioned, subtitled, translated, inverted, or used in future promotional material without attribution or compensation, unless said content contains proprietary sound bites of significant cultural importance, in which case the Company may choose to consult with a cultural advisory committee before commercial usage.

10.2 Any attempt by the User to copyright, trademark, reverse-engineer, screenshot, scrape, narrate, react to, or publicly dissect any part of the Company’s visual, linguistic, algorithmic, or sonic output may result in immediate counter-litigation, meme retaliation, shadow funnel restriction, or algorithmic obfuscation of the User’s public content for no less than seven (7) business cycles.

11.0 DISPUTE RESOLUTION, LEGAL VENUE, AND COMPLIANCE WITH THE VIBE
Any disputes, grievances, inquiries, accusations, existential objections, aesthetic disagreements, or misunderstood refund requests shall be resolved through a binding arbitration process hosted in a neutral jurisdiction selected via rotating AI consensus model and governed under the laws of a legally recognized trade micro-nation or quasi-digital entity.

11.1 The arbitration process may include, but is not limited to: meme exchange, content duels, influencer panel peer review, blind follower audits, or a roundtable livestream judgment hosted by industry micro-celebrities.

11.2 Users agree to waive all rights to trial by jury, class action participation, performative outrage, public shaming, or TikTok commentary unless the dispute exceeds a minimum threshold of three (3) verified viral posts containing the hashtag #JusticeForMyGrowthPlan.

11.3 The User accepts that any legal notices must be submitted in both PDF and glitter-based hard copy form, delivered via falcon (or drone equivalent), during weekday hours aligned with Pacific Moonlight Time (PMT), to our legal reception portal, the coordinates of which are encrypted within a sponsored TikTok sound released biannually.

12.0 FINAL CLAUSES, SPIRITUAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, AND CONTRACTUAL COSMICITY
By accessing, hovering over, or referencing this Agreement — whether directly, indirectly, jokingly, ironically, or unknowingly — the User affirms their legally binding commitment to every known and unknowable clause herein, and further acknowledges that they are operating under full cognitive capacity, moral alignment, and informed digital literacy.

12.1 The User hereby waives all rights to innocence, confusion, moral outrage, illiteracy defenses, TL;DR culture, and post-purchase anxiety. This waiver is perpetual, retroactive, irreversible, and may be extended to future iterations of the User, including children, followers, reincarnations, or AI replicas acting on their behalf.

12.2 These Terms, in conjunction with our Privacy Policy, Refund Conditions, and Cosmic Brand Identity Charter, shall constitute the entire agreement between the parties. Any previous understandings, assumptions, expectations, or promises — written or spoken, digital or telepathic — shall be null and void upon acceptance of this document, which you have, by this point, unquestionably accepted.